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So, this is day two of me trying once again to keep up my writing streak, I almost missed out on writing today because I  forgot all about it, I guess that's what happens when you fall out of a habit/resolution, anyway I somehow got reminded of it and i'm here now trying to figure something out to write for today.

So this year along with the resolution of writing 250 words a day, I have also started a bullet journal, to track my life, my progress and be mindful of how thins are in my life, maybe to streamline it a bit. I had left March blank, other than making a monthly spread and some art I haven't done anything, so I wrote about why I didn't do anything in March, and somehow it was gratifying to that. I think writing has some kind of therapeutic effect on me, and thats perhaps why I should do it more. Once I started writing, the words just kept coming and I was surprised by how much I wrote, I know its not a lot, but it was more than what I imagined/wanted to write, it was like it tapped into some emotion in me that I kept buried deep inside, maybe this is what Freud tried to do with his method of free association, to be there, relax and let the words just flow, without the fear of being judged. I realised a lot of times when I am not thinking about someone reading my work, it comes easy to me to write but when I am conscious about showing it to someone, it kind of restricts my writing, and I keep worrying about how the person reading it is going to perceive it. Maybe this is something I need to work on as well.

For a long time now I have wanted to be a writer, I will admit it, I have imagined my book being published, with my picture on the back cover, me sitting elegantly, probably with a string of pearl, looking all intellectual and scholarly, you know the kind of look great writers have. Few years back I may have been really far off from that dream coming true, but I can say today I maybe one step closer to getting there. I have understood my strengths a little bit better than before. Earlier I didn't know what I wanted to write about exactly, other than wanting to write. I had a few plots in mind that I wanted to make into a novel/novella, I thought I wanted to write fiction. But I see now that, the strength of my writing skills lie in telling my own stories, snippets from my personal experiences. I think it has always been true, even when I used to write so passionately in School, some of my best works were when I wrote about my experiences, only, it took me so long to realise it. I guess it's better late than never.

Now that I have discovered where my strengths lie, I think I want to do more than just say stories, I think I want to embed some elements of social issues that are need to be talked about more, I don't want to merely be a writer of fiction alone, I want my writing to amount to something, probably, ignite a spark of critical thinking in my readers. It is a long journey ahead, but I think when I leave this earth, I want my writing to be something of value that I leave behind.

In the recent past, I have been able to write two short stories, i don't know how someone who doesn't know me will view it, but it's something I am proud of. I am surprised that I could write like that. I want to make an anthology of short stories, I think I want that to be my first publication. I told Syam that by the end of this year, I will have a few short stories ready for publishing, I hope I am able to do it. That would be really thrilling if I am able to finish that task. Of all the things I set out to do this year, finishing this task is one thing that would make me extremely happy.

I suppose it's time to start writing again, I have few ideas to write about, maybe its time I explore those ideas and see where that leads me. 

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