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I had to take a short break from writing as I had to move, so packing, traveling and unpacking was what the past three days have been. Still have more things to unpack and settle, but I didn't want to risk not being able to write and have a lot of things in store for today to complete. Found myself a new spot to sit and write (for the time being maybe, I am going to see how this works out and change it later if necessary). 

Last month I was brimming with ideas to write but this month I feel like a dried up lake. Ok let me not paint such a pessimistic picture, it isn't as bad as that, trouble is I am not able to translate my ideas into words. I know the things I want to write about, I know the stories I want to write, yet the words seem so elusive to me and it is truly sucking the spirit out of me. My writing companion for today is Billie Eilish singing bury a friend. I cannot explain what it is but somehow listening to her music helps me to write or at least it did last month. I used to play her music on a loop and just at my spot and continue with my writing.

It is equally important to feel like you have the time and space to be able to write, I am quite preoccupied with things right now that is perhaps why I am finding it hard to put down words. 

I have been working on something personal and it is bringing up a lot of trauma from the past, but I want to continue writing it, I feel it is a story that needs to be told however difficult it maybe to put it in words or how much ever pain it brings up. I remember the last time I felt it so painful was when I wrote a short story about my grandmother. it took a lot emotional strength to write about her. It felt like I was reliving all that all over again, I could feel the pain wringing my heart, I had this immense ache in my being while jotting down the story, yet I did't want to finish it. it was as though I had a chance to be with her and experience that love and affection once again and I wasn't ready to let go of that feeling just yet. Nonetheless the story had to come to an end and so did that time I tried to get with her through my writing. I am quite enchanted by the idea of writing more about her but I am not quite sure as to how much a job well done it would be. It is worth giving it a try I suppose, I just need to find the right headspace to start writing about her once again. 








 

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