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It has been close to a week since I wrote anything and I am not proud of it. The words seem to evade me and honestly I don't know what to write about these days. With great difficulty I have forced myself to write this post. I suddenly seemed to have fallen into this space where I am beginning to doubt my writing skills. Just last month I was so confident about everything and was riding on a high, but of-late I feel too lost and confused filled with self doubt and it is not a great place to be in. 

Few days back I had a talk with my therapist, I was telling her about how I am learning to more compassionate towards myself something I found so hard to do earlier on. It began as a very unconscious process, I began treating  myself the way I wanted to be treated as opposed to how I have been treated always. I don't think I am completely there yet but I know I am going in that direction little by little. To be honest it hasn't been very easy to do that, because all our lives we have been conditioned to think in a certain way so breaking out of that has been most difficult and time consuming. In times like this when I lack motivation or inner strength it is all the more harder to pursue it. 

The past few days have been particularly difficult, usually being able to write something helps me feel better but this time I don't seem to have the ability to write. It is taking a lot to even be able to type these words. I wish I could go back to last month where I was full of energy and enthusiasm to pursue my work. Now I seem to be so down and low all the time and don't seem to find a way to put my ideas, thoughts and feelings into words. I miss my old spot where I would just type away so happily. I hope I am soon able to get back to my former self and continue writing as always. 

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