It has been a really long time since I wrote anything here. I did write in the beginning of this year, but it was all too much; I had so much going on at that time. Honestly, I don't know how the first few months of this year went by; I think there were moments where I was just trying to exist. But in the recent past I have started to live again, or at least tried to, and it feels good. But I have been extremely cautious in hoping about anything; I don't think I am exactly where I want to be yet, but I have begun to have some hope that I might be getting there slowly. Of course I am still worried about how I am going to be able to manage everything; I don't want to lose touch with the things that have kept me going. Especially because I seemed to have made some progress. This year I think it really helped me to get through a tough time. I focused a lot of my energy on drawing, painting and making videos and have picked up a few skills along the way. Though it didn't se...